Our loss...

This is my mother Geraldine, looking lovely for my wedding almost three years ago.  She did not use a wheelchair normally, fighting to continue living independently to the last.  But she was frail even then and could not have managed such a big day without it.  She passed away yesterday at the age of 87 from kidney failure.  It was a long infirmity.  Her last seven or so years were lived, amazingly, with only 25% kidney function.  Yesterday, after five days in the hospital, her kidneys finally failed completely. She went to be with her Lord just before six o'clock in the evening with her family at her bedside.

In spite of her obvious weakness and recent decline, in spite of her many close calls, in spite of her age and all her preparations, I still find myself entirely unprepared to lose her, or to live without her. Nothing she said, nothing I thought, prepared me for this.  And then, there is so much to do. I knew there would be, but it is still a shock.

And yet I know the Lord is faithful.  His loving-kindness endures forever.  He will see us through.  My life is changed forever.  I'm only beginning to know in what ways.  I will be taking a break from my blog for a time, until I've wrapped up her affairs and until the Lord gives me a voice again.  Thanks to all of you for your loving support, prayers, and understanding during this time.

Comments

Betsy Markman said…
Oh Laurie, God bless you!

I got to visit with my mom recently for the first time in two years (she lives in Florida and I live in Colorado), and having seen her health decline so much, I'm not sure if I'll see her again. I, too, cannot imagine a world without my mother somewhere in it.

And yet for you it is no longer imagination. May God provide you incredible comfort even as you mourn, and may you find happiness in the very same pleasant memories that also bring pain.

Keep in touch, at least enough to say "I need extra prayer today, or to share memories, or whatever. I'm happy to listen to your heart.
Laurie M. said…
Thanks, Betsy, for your prayers and concern.

I'll still be checking in on Facebook here and there. It's just the blog which I can't deal with right now. Lord willing, I'll be back to it before long - older and wiser.
Lisa notes... said…
Laurie,
I'm already learning from you in how you're dealing with the loss of your mom. Thank you for maintaining faith and for sharing with us.

You are blessing many, yet we so want to be a blessing to YOU through our prayers for your comfort.

May the Lord continue to give you grace to grieve in Him and help you take care of the things you need to.

Love,
Lisa
David Porter said…
Laurie,

It would be so much easier if our family could tell us the wonder of being present with Christ.

Unfortunately, that isn't possible, and we are forced to deal mostly with our profound loss.

You have become a dear friend, and I have asked God to bring you comfort, and to help you see more clearly the joy your mom must certainly be experiencing.

In spite of this knowledge, there is still loss, and I am certain that God will meet you in your hour of need.

I pray that the light, the heat, and the beauty of Christ will become even more clear to you during these times.

Love you guys!
Love that picture of your mom and loved hearing about her spirit. It sounds like despite some difficult times she was a trooper, and a women whom God shined his grace and love upon!
May God give you strength, wisdom, and comfort the next few days. :)
It sounds like from your post He already has!
~Sandy @ Jesus and Dark Chocolate
Debbie said…
Oh Laurie, I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your mom. I know what it's like to lose a mom. Mine died almost five years ago but I still miss her every day.

I will be thinking of you and praying that you will receive comfort in the midst of your fresh pain. But know that your sisters in Christ will uphold you in prayer.

Love you,
Debbie
Karin said…
My heartfelt sympathies as you go through this valley of loss and grieve the death of a loved one. May the Lord be your Comforter, as only He can!
Disjecta Membra said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Laurie M. said…
Thank you all for your words of comfort. Thank you all even more for your prayers on my behalf. The pain is so raw that prayers of my own are difficult to come by. I'm relying heavily on the strength of others right now - and the Lord who will be faithful to care for me even when I'm too weak to cry for help.
barrywallace said…
Laurie, I've barely been online recently, so I'm just now catching up on my friends. You have my deepest sympathy, my love and my prayers. I understand the loss. It's been two years since my mother went to be with the Lord, but I still miss her terribly sometimes.

The Lord is our strength and our song, always. May He be so especially for you this Christmas.

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