The Mission in the Mirror*

Like David, I groan under the weight of blasphemy and scorn,

of assaults on my faith that come day and night,

    my adversaries taunt me,

while they say to me all the day long,

    "Where is your God?"

Where are you, God, while they mock?  

Should I be oppressed while they laugh with glee?

The doubts within echo the atheist taunts, 

but meet faith in my heart and cry out in prayer:

I say to God, my rock:

    "Why have you forgotten me?

Why do I go mourning

    because of the oppression of the enemy?"

As with a deadly wound in my bones...

 What if they are right, and there is no You? 

Worse yet, what if there is a You, but You don't care about me? 

You, my God, are my only hope!  

I have nothing apart from You.

As a deer pants for flowing streams,

    so pants my soul for you, O God.

My soul thirsts for God,

    for the living God.

If  I could just hear your voice, louder than mocking,

If I could see your face and know that when You look at me You smile.

The aching would cease and the tears turn to joy.

When shall I come and appear before God?

My tears have been my food

 day and night,

while they say to me all the day long,

    "Where is your God?"

The face I see is mine, in the mirror.

It reminds me of life before I knew You.

It takes me back through days and weeks,

through years of protection and answered prayers.

By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,

    and at night his song is with me,

    a prayer to the God of my life.

I see the lives transformed, mine and others, the souls set free

and remember your faithfulness through the darkest of times,

I look into the windows of my eyes and wonder:

Why are you cast down, O my soul,

    and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

    my salvation and my God.

*  A reflection on Psalm 42