Not my ordinary Monday morning

What I've done so far this morning, in reverse order, starting now:

• Sit down to type this.
• Fight back tears.
• Thank God the furniture's okay.
• Open the mail (good and bad news).
• Move the sprinkler.
• Scrub the kitchen counters.
• Scrub in the sink the most comfortable shoes ever, which I've owned for less than 12 hours.
• Put a load of paint stained towels in the washer.
• Put my favorite, and thankfully now clean, $60 shorts in the dryer.
• Scrub the shower with stainless steel scouring pad.
• Scrub the kitchen floor (with same steel pad), in underwear & ruined t-shirt.
• Scrub the kitchen chair.
• Sop up with towels puddles of black latex paint from the kitchen chair and floor & along the path into the living room with one hand, while holding a tightly towel-wrapped soaking wet somewhat cleaner cat. (Mao)
• Fight and wash squirming, shaking, splattering, black-paint covered cat in bath tub and get self and shower completely covered with watered down black latex paint.
• Breathe an unitelligible prayer for some kind of grace to deal with this.
• Pick up paint soaked cat.
• Hear crash, see and feel paint flying on and around me and say, "Oh NO, oh NO, oh NO!!!" while looking for whatever creature was responsible, and hoping beyond hope it didn't run in a panic up and over everthing in the house. Finding Mao dripping from head to toe with paint, in the living room.
• Set up open can of black paint, on a towel, on a surface the cats have never, ever been known to jump up on, and painted 1/2 of one cabinet.

What I need to do next:

• Pray
• Move the sprinkler.
• Throw away my ruined T-shirt.
• Take a bath.
• Finish painting the cabinets - at the very least the one I started over 2 hours ago.
• Figure out how to get black latex foot prints out of carpet.

Question: Will a claw wound from a black latex soaked cat claw become a tatoo?