A Confession for Today

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A Confession for Today
by Laurie Mathers

 
Today I want to confess
I'm terrified,
Not of anything specific.  Mainly it's just general,
But really it's not so general.  Mainly it's just people.

Today I want to confess
I'm terrified of people.
Not any people in particular.  Just people in general.
But really it's not so general.  Mainly it's just me.

Today I want to confess
I'm terrified of Me.
Not for anything specific.  Just me in general.
But really it's not so general.  Mainly it's my judgments.

Today I want to confess
I'm terrified of my judgments.
Not any specific judgments.  Just my judgments in general.
But really it's not so general.  Mainly it's the judgments I make of others.

Today I want to confess
I'm terrified of the judgments I've made of others.
Not any specific judgments of others. Just my judgments of others in general.
But really it's not so general. Mainly it's that I  judge others when I am guilty too.

Today I want to confess
I'm terrified of being guilty.
Not any specific guilt. Just guilty in general.
But really it's not so general. Mainly it's my guilt in judging you.

Today I want to confess
I'm terrified as I write this.
Not any specific terror. Just terror in general.
But really it's not so general. Mainly it's my terror that you'll judge me as I have you.

Today I want to confess
I've sinned against you.

Today I beg your forgiveness.


"Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven" Luke 6:37

Comments

WhiteStone said…
The older I get (and you are not as old as I. lol) the more I distrust my judgement. I kick myself often for past thoughts and words (sometimes just 5 minutes prior). The only assurance I have at all, in all of life, is not my own thinking...but that I remain in the hands of God. He holds me safe...in spite of my sin. Thanks be to God.

Your post is beautiful in its pain and openness. Beautiful.
September 29, 2011 at 10:34 AM
Laurie M. said…
Thanks be to God, indeed! Thanks for the encouraging words Judy. Today I hang on a beatitude: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." And one more: "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be satisfied."
September 29, 2011 at 9:25 PM
Kevin Faulkner said…
A penitential psalm for modern times, simple without being simplistic, and it scans well !

I hope it finds a home to a wider public for its spiritual insight because, try as hard as one can, the sin of prejudice and the gift of forgiveness will always remain a big part of spiritual life.
September 30, 2011 at 12:58 AM
Laurie M. said…
I hadn't thought of it that way, Kevin. I'm glad you were blessed by it. Also, I'm glad you were able to sense how both intimate and far-reaching the problem is, from petty judgments of friends to harsh judgments of classism and racism. It's all included.
October 1, 2011 at 11:10 AM
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