The Father's Love

When I first became a single mom, I was terrified. I had drifted from church years prior, so I decided it was time to go back and start trying to live like a Christian. During that time I was given a book on how to train children the “Bible” way. In it were the secrets to raising children so well-trained and obedient that they would assuredly obey God and accept the gospel. 

This book taught me to read all the worst motives into my children's hearts, to see all their undesirable behavior as rebellion—not incomprehension or exhaustion, not immaturity or hunger, not frustration or confusion, not inability or fear—only rebellion. Their salvation or damnation hung on my ability, by force of will and use of the rod, to train them to be perfectly obedient. 

If I had actually read the Bible for myself and understood God’s character and his grace, I would have thrown that book away. Instead I let it destroy me. Though I couldn’t bring myself to implement its harsh methods, my heart was tainted by its adversarial view of the parent-child relationship—poisoned by the idea that this is God’s heart toward his children and that Christianity is just a fretful striving for perfection under the constant threat of punishment. 

In those days I picked up another book. This book laid out the New Testament like the next Law of Moses, a new and more impossible set of demands. By Chapter 3 I knew it: I could never please God. I gave up hope, put my Bible (along with the book) on a shelf and hid from this terrifying deity, until the day, a decade later, when he led me to trust in the gospel of grace and forgiveness in Jesus Christ. 

How we see God colors our world either with hope and love or with despair. This is why, time and again, when I’m drawn back to the terror of those dark, hopeless days, I turn to Psalm 103 for comfort:

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
 and all that is within me,
 bless his holy name!

The condition of our own souls is the most important characteristic in our relationship with God and each other. And so, like David, we need to teach them to bless the Lord:

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
 and forget not all his benefits,
 who forgives all your iniquity,
 who heals all your diseases,
 who redeems your life from the pit,
 who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
 who satisfies you with good
 so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

Whether it be hope or trust, grace or forgiveness, confidence or love – you cannot give what you have not received. You can’t teach what you don’t understand. You can’t spread God’s grace and love if you’ve never known it yourself. David urges us to begin by recounting God’s many kindnesses: forgiveness for our every sin, life and strength, release from the cruel captivity of sin and death, and citizenship in the Kingdom of his dear Son, where love and mercy are the jewels that crown our heads.

The Lord works righteousness
 and justice for all who are oppressed.
 He made known his ways to Moses,
 his acts to the people of Israel.

God’s eye is on the weak and oppressed, ready to work justice for those whose leaders lord it over them. When Israel was enslaved in Egypt, he heard their cries and rescued them. Tending to their every need, even when they sinned, he revealed his patience and lovingkindness:

The Lord is merciful and gracious,
 slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
 He will not always chide,
 nor will he keep his anger forever.

To chide means to express disapproval, scold, or reproach. How many times a day do you think, or say, or do something sinful? Imagine how dreadful it would be if God actually chided or punished you each and every time! This is why the apostle Paul tells fathers, “do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (Eph. 6:4).

He does not deal with us according to our sins,
 nor repay us according to our iniquities.
 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
 so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
 as far as the east is from the west,
 so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

These last verses have comforted me more times than I can count. God is not a tit-for-tat father eager to chastise our every wrong. His love covers a multitude of sins (1 Pet. 4:8), and it’s this kindness that enables us to run to him rather than away from him when we sin (Rom. 2:4). 

As a father shows compassion to his children,
 so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
 For he knows our frame;
 he remembers that we are dust.

God knows our frame. When he teaches and corrects us, our weakness and limitations are always on his mind. His wrath would crush us, so, because he loves us, Christ suffered that wrath on our behalf on the cross. This is God’s tender heart for us, his children. I pray we will receive his grace and lovingkindness and let them color our world and form our relationships into the shape of our Father’s steadfast love. 

This article was originally published here and is an edited version of my 2013 article on this blog.